Gensoukyou Pantsu Pantsu Revolution
by taiyakisoba
Summary: When the inhabitants of Gensoukyou start to swap their bloomers for the latest fad in underwear - panties - bloomers-loving witch Marisa Kirisame decides to get to the bottom of things and bring the one behind the incident to justice. But little does she know how far the conspiracy goes...


**Gensoukyou Pantsu Pantsu Revolution **by taiyakisoba

"Hey Reimu, have you read the latest _Bunbunmaru_?"

Marisa pushed the paper in front of the miko's face. Reimu didn't even bother to look down and instead busied herself with another sip of tea.

"I have no idea why you bother to buy that rubbish," she said. "You're just encouraging her."

"Of course I didn't _buy_ it," said Marisa, offended. "I borrowed it from Kourin."

"I don't know why _he_ buys it, either."

"My theory is that he has a thing for Aya," said Marisa.

"He has a thing for everybody," said Reimu.

Marisa shrugged. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about. Look at the lead story."

Reimu sighed and glanced down at the paper. Suddenly she spat out her tea and snatched it from Marisa's hands. On the front page there was a grainy black and white photo of a pair of thighs, a flash of skirt and exposed underwear - but instead of bloomers, they were some kind of smaller, fancy lacy item, with a distinctive bow. Next to the photo was the headline _Mysterious Lingerie Sighting__._

"What is this lurid trash?" demanded Reimu. "'Mysterious lingerie'?"

"Keep reading!" said Marisa.

_There have been sightings of an as-yet unidentified youkai wearing a kind of underwear not seen before in Gensoukyou. The charming phantom has been spotted flying-_

"Ugh. I think I'll just skim it."

_Fantastical Land of Bloomers No Longer?_

_As everyone knows, the ladies of Gensoukyou have a long tradition of wearing bloomers. This plain, and some might say even utilitarian, style of underwear took over from the fundoushi in the time of-_

"Ugh."

_Mystery deepens_

_Where has this new style of underwear come from? Who is the one responsible for bringing it to Gensoukyou? Where can you buy some? Should they be washed in cold or hot-_

Reimu was about to fling the paper away when Marisa stopped her. "Read the bottom!"

_Late breaking__: We have been informed that the mysterious style of underwear is known as panties or pant-su. Thank you to a correspondent who wishes to remain anonymous who sent in the information via gap-tunnel._

"Trust that perverted youkai to know about such things," sniffed Reimu. She handed the paper back to Marisa.

"Well, I sense an incident of some sort," said the witch. "It's been a while since the last one. What was it again?"

Reimu looked up at the overhanging roof of the shrine. "The UFO one, wasn't it? Or the one with the dwarf."

Marisa scratched her nose. "Yeah, one of those, anyway." She became suddenly coy. "Soooo..."

Reimu stared at her. "Soooo... what?"

"Do you think Aya is right about these 'pantsu' things?"

"What do you mean, 'right'?"

"I mean, do you think they're cute?"

"I don't know," replied Reimu, turning her face away.

"Oh come on," said Marisa. "You must have an opinion."

Reimu sighed. "Well, it's hard to tell from such a grainy photo. The lacy bits and the little bow thing at the front are kind of cute though."

Marisa snorted. "My bloomers have a bow as well."

Reimu rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't really need to hear about your bloomers, Mar-"

"-and bloomers are really comfortable," continued the witch. "Those pantsu things look like they'd leave you freezing your butt off when you're flying on your broomstick. They probably cut off the circulation to your legs as well."

Reimu stood up. "Look, I don't really have time to sit here and talk about underwear. Maybe you should go off and start your own investigations. I'll be along right after you. I just need to-" She glanced desperately around until she spotted her broom leaning up against a stone lantern. "-uh, sweep the grounds a few more times. I'm expecting a lot of visitors any moment now."

Marisa looked out across the temple grounds. They were utterly deserted. Somewhere, a little bamboo water-dropper went 'plop'.

"Yeah, okay." She rolled up the paper and thrust it into her hat, then threw a leg over her broomstick. "Where do you think I should start? The usual?"

"What's 'the usual'?"

"You know, go off to Misty Lake or wherever and beat up a few weaklings like Cirno and Wriggle to work out my frustration until I stumble onto a lead."

"I know that's always worked before," said Reimu. "But maybe this time you should go and check out the Moriya Shrine. I have a feeling they're involved somehow." _Yeah, that's it. Go and annoy Sanae._

Marisa nodded. "Good thinking. Sanae's _is_ probably involved. Those did look a lot like her chubby thighs in the photo."

"Chubby?" Reimu spluttered. "And how do you know what her-"

But Marisa had already taken off.

~o~

A few days later Reimu was sweeping the shrine porch when another edition of _BunBunMaru_ dropped out of the air onto the ground beside her.

She stopped and said, "Kindly don't litter the shrine grounds. Please put your trash in the receptacle provided."

Yukari clambered out of the recently manifested gap-tunnel after it. "Have you read the news?"

Reimu went back to sweeping. "Since when did everyone start buying Aya's paper?"

"Since it started to cover this most delicious mystery," said the youkai, dusting herself off. She picked up the paper and thrust it at Reimu.

The miko sighed and took it from her. On the front page there was a blurry photo that could have been anything.

_Epidemic of Skirt Flipping_

_An as-yet unidentified individual dressed in black-and-white has been flipping skirts all across Gensoukyou over the past few-_

"No, no," said Yukari. "The advertisement on page four!"

_Pantsu pantsu pantsu!_

_Become part of the latest craze in Gensoukyou! Every style and colour imaginable. Now on sale at Kurindou._

"So Rinnosuke is the one behind it!" said Reimu.

"I don't think so," said Yukari. "I think he's just exploiting the situation. But what do you think about this?" She tapped the still open paper.

"About what?"

"The prices he's asking. I think they're very reasonable."

Reimu gaped at her. "You're going to go buy some?"

A smile flickered onto the youkai's face. "I thought we _both_ might go and have a look. You know, kind of a mother-daughter shopping trip."

Reimu stared at her.

Yukari continued smiling. "Don't you think we need to work on our relationship?"

Reimu frowned. "We don't _have_ a relationship, Sukima."

"My my! Again with that potty mouth of yours," said Yukari. "Now stop arguing and come with me. Who knows, you might enjoy yourself!"

She pulled open a gap in the air and dragged the still-protesting Reimu through it with her. They appeared in the Human Village, just outside Kourindou, where a huge line of youkai stretched right down the road.

"What a pain," sniffed Yukari. She drew a spell card out of her bodice and was about to rain danmaku on the queue when Reimu gently placed a hand on hers and shook her head.

"Look, maybe we shouldn't cause any trouble just this once. Let's get in line. I'm sure it won't take too long."

Yukari sighed. "Very well."

"I haven't seen such a huge queue since they opened that Krispy Kreme," said Reimu, after they'd been waiting in line for a while.

"What?" said Yukari, who had started to nod off. "Oh yes, that donut shop. The staff were even more delicious than the donuts were, weren't they?"

Reimu stared at her.

Yukari smiled and waved her fan in a dismissive gesture. "My, my! Such a fierce expression. I'm only joking, of course. I would never eat any of those donuts. Terrible for the figure. Which reminds me..." She suddenly grabbed Reimu around the waist. "Have you been sneaking extra wagashi at the Shrine? You're looking a bit more curvy than usual."

"Quit it!" muttered Reimu, squirming out of her grasp. Then she sighed and squeezed herself around the tummy. "Do you- do you really think so?"

"Just more Reimu to love!" said Yukari, poking her stomach with her fan.

"Hey!"

"But it's important for a girl to feel sexy, you know," said Yukari, backing away and fanning herself. "I'm sure these pantsu things are popular for just that very reason. You should definitely purchase some."

"I'm only here to investigate a potential incident," replied Reimu with a sniff.

"Of course."

There was a sudden gust of wind as a blur of black and white streaked past the queue. Reimu was quick enough to react in time and kept her robe from flying up, but the others were not so lucky.

"Bloomers, bloomers, bloomers, fundoshi, bloomers... hmmm." Marisa flew back towards them, noting the underwear that had been revealed by her flyby. "Nope. No pantsu."

"What the hell are you doing?" demanded Reimu.

Marisa looked down at her. "I've been checking everyone's underwear. The ones that Aya took a shot of are quite distinctive. I figure, once we've found those pantsu, we'll find the instigator of this little incident. Then we can duke it out with her, have some tea and get back to goofing off."

"So you're the pervert that's been flipping skirts!" said Yukari, clutching at her dress and blushing hotly.

"Of come on, as if there was ever any real mystery," grinned Marisa. "By the way, even though they're bloomers, they're some pretty fancy frilly ones, Yukari." Then with a wink she was gone, just as the queue was starting to advance on her threateningly.

Eventually Reimu and Yukari made it inside.

The usually deserted store was packed. The walls were covered in racks of pantsu of every different shape, size and colour, and cute youkai girls were everywhere, taking them down and giggling. Reimu found herself flushing.

"What do you think?" asked Yukari.

"Well, they are very pretty," Reimu admitted.

The little ice fairy Cirno was there, trying to get a pair from higher up the rack than she could reach.

"Excuse me oneesan, but could you get these down for- oh, it's you Reimu."

Reimu grabbed the little lacy blue pair Cirno wanted without looking at it and thrust it in the fairy's hands. 'There."

"Thank you!"

Suddenly the door of the shop blew open and Marisa burst into the shop carrying her broomstick. She looked around at the surprised youkai, and when she spotted Cirno she raced over to her.

"I knew I missed someone!" She stuck out her broomstick and flipped up the little ice fairy's dress.

Cirno squealed and tried to pull it back down, but it was too late.

Marisa goggled at the ice fairy's bare butt. "You're not wearing _anything_?"

"Oh no, I forgot again!" squealed Cirno. She ran out of the shop crying. Marisa looked at the other youkai staring at her angrily and with a nervous smile and a shrug she left as well.

Rinnosuke sighed from behind his counter. "She's been doing the same sort of thing the last couple of days. That girl is a menace."

Reimu left Yukari to look at the underwear and walked over to talk to him.

"So you're the one behind all this," she said, glaring at him.

"Afraid not," said Rinnosuke. "I just saw an opportunity."

"Since when have you cared about making money?"

"Oh, well, it's not bad if I actually start making money, is it?" He looked over his glasses at the miko. "I mean, I'd love to continue just running a store where you and Marisa come and borrow stuff you never pay me for, but that's not exactly good business sense, is it?"

"I suspect you may have another motive," said Reimu darkly. "I mean, all these young and cute youkai girls pawing through racks of silky underwear."

Rinnosuke's eyes turned glassy for a moment, but then he shook his head and said, with a smile, "Nothing of the sort."

"Where do all these pantsu come from, anyway?"

"Department store surplus from the outside world I found washed up in Muenzuka," said Rinnosuke. Suddenly someone came up behind Reimu and placed a whole pile of pantsu on the counter. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

Reimu went back to find Yukari.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to," said the youkai. "Have you found anything nice?"

"Like I told you, I'm just here to investigate."

"Oh, Reimu," said Yukari, shaking her head. "At least try and have some fun. Say, why don't you choose something you think I might look good in."

"Oh, come-"

"Please? Yukari's eyes glistened.

Reimu sighed and went over to a rack of pantsu. She looked them over then took some down. "How about these? They look comfy."

Yukari was scandalised. "Granny pants? Do I look like a grandma to you?"

"You're a thousand years old!"

"Well, never mind that. It's how old you feel, anyway, that matters. Anyway, I found something that might suit you."

"Really?" Reimu's interested was piqued.

The youkai brought some pantsu from behind her back. They were sheer and frilly, with red and black lace and -

-crotchless.

"Look, Reimu - gap-pantsu!" Yukari waved them back and forth in the miko's face. "Now, what say we finalise our purchases and go back to my place and model them for each other?"

Reimu fled.

~o~

Later that day Reimu was flying around when she came upon Marisa flying back towards the Human Village.

"How'd the whole mother-daughter shopping thing go?" asked the witch.

Reimu frowned. "I don't want to talk about it. Now spill it. What have you found out?"

Marisa sighed. "I've flipped everyone's skirt I could think of, but no leads. Then I had the bright idea that maybe someone's been wearing pantsu from the beginning, one of those youkai with the dangerous hemlines like Seija or Nue. No luck, though. I guess I'll have to keep looking."

"Have you been to see Aya?" asked Reimu suddenly.

"Yeah. No dice. She said that the youkai whose pantsu she photographed was travelling too fast to be identified. Also, the original photos and negatives have gone missing. Someone doesn't want to be identified, I guess."

Reimu sighed. "Well, maybe that's that then. Perhaps the whole incident will resolve itself."

"I don't know about that," said Marisa. "I'm going to go ask around at the usual places. You know, Scarlet Devil Mansion, Makai. Mima might know something as well."

"Good luck!" said Reimu. Then she flew off back to the shrine, whistling to herself.

~o~

_Pantsu Mystery Deepens_

_Reports are coming in from all over Gensoukyou that people's precious new pantsu have begun to disappear. Renowned Outside World Expert and armpit-model miko Kochiya Sanae has told Bunbunmaru that such incidents are not uncommon there, and that a pantsu-thief may be involved..._

Reimu cringed and dropped the paper like it was a dead toad.

"Now you've started buying it as well," said Marisa, flying in and hopping off her broom.

"I didn't buy it," said Reimu. "Someone shoved it in the donations box as a joke."

"I guess others must be, though. Aya's probably rolling in cash. I wonder what Hatate thinks of the whole thing."

"Probably just locked herself in her room again. Marisa, this is rapidly getting out of hand."

"Yeah. But I think I'm getting closer to the culprit," said Marisa.

Reimu stared at her. "What- really?"

"The investigation is going very well. Which reminds me, I have to get back to it. I've still got the Netherworld to investigate. Phantoms have to wear underwear, too. See ya around!"

~o~

"Yuyuko sama?"

"In here, Youmu," came a voice from the kitchen.

The gardener dragged the bags she was carrying into the spacious living room of the mansion of Hakugyokurou and deposited them on the couch. She wiped the sweat from beneath her platinum bob and sighed.

"Do you really need so many pairs, Yuyuko-sama? I think I might have hurt my back." She slumped down on the couch, her little phantom Myon zipping behind her head to act as a pillow.

Yuyuko appeared from the kitchen, stuffing potato chips into her mouth. "Oh, good work! Let's have a look at them, then."

Youmu, still panting, got back up and took the various pantsu from the bags and arranged them on the coffee table.

"Excellent taste," said Yuyuko between mouth-fulls as she looked over the pantsu. "Most excellent. You have outdone yourself this time, Youmu."

"Thank you, Yuyuko-sama." The gardener bowed. "Now, if I may be excused, there are some azaleas that need pruning, so I'll just-"

Yuyuko quickly moved in between her and the door. "Now wait a second, Youmu. I still have need of your services. You know how we're the same size, more or less..."

"Yes, Yuyuko-sama. But I don't see-"

"Well, I would very much like you to model these for me. I'm feeling a bit tired and listless- I guess I haven't been eating enough or something."

Youmu's big blue eyes went wide. "Model them - for you?"

"Oh, don't be such a prude," said Yuyuko. "We've been to the onsen before. I know what you look like naked. And remember that time at Yukari's, when we all got tipsy on her rice wine and I made you-"

Youmu blushed. "Please, please! I'll model them, if you like. But I can't change into them here in front of you."

Yuyuko sighed. "Alright. You can change in the bedroom. But hop to it. It's almost dinner time."

Soon Youmu's voice came from the bedroom. "Which ones should I put on first?"

Yuyuko lay back on the couch and tossed the now-empty chip packet over the back. "Oh, I don't know. Surprise me!"

After a while Youmu poked her head out from behind the doorway. "These feel really strange. I'm only used to wearing fundoshi."

"Quit your stalling and get out here!"

Youmu slunk out, covering her small breasts with her hands. She was wearing a plain white pair of cotton pantsu with a little red bow at the front.

Yuyuko leaned forward and nodded. "Like I said, excellent taste. Turn around so I can see them from behind."

Youmu blushed deeper, but did as her mistress told her.

"Ah yes, charming! Although, perhaps such a naïve and innocent style might be more appropriate for someone of your tender years and inexperience, Youmu. I think I'll give this pair to you."

"To me?" Youmu blinked.

"Yes, it's decided. From now on I will require you to wear pantsu instead of fundoshi."

"But Yuyuko-sama!"

Yuyuko's stomach suddenly rumbled. "I'm starting to get hungry again. Try on another pair for me, would you?"

Youmu retreated back into the bedroom, and soon returned wearing a plain white cotton pair with a cherry print.

Yuyuko clapped her hands. "Now these are adorable! Oh, Youmu..." While she looked at Youmu her stomach rumbled again. "Hehehe, I guess it's the cherry-print that's making me feel a little...uh..." the smile began to slip from her face and her eyes grew glassy.

"Yuyuko-sama?" The gardener took a step backwards.

Yuyuko leaped off the couch and grabbed Youmu around the waist. The gardener squealed and tried to escape, but her mistress' grip was too strong. Myon in a panic flew round and round their heads.

"Wh- what are you doing, Yuyuko-sama?!"

"I- I just can't resist! The- the cherries - they look too tasty!" Yuyuko flung the girl onto the couch and starting tearing off her underwear. "And so do you!"

"Nooooooo! Not again!" shrieked Youmu.

A short while later...

Youmu lay under a blanket on the couch cuddling Myon to her chest, a dopily happy expression on her face. Yuyuko was sitting at the other end of the couch, eating a packet of Pretz.

"Youmu, time to wake up." She reached over and shook the girl. "My my, you really _are_ a lazy servant."

The gardener stirred. "Mmmm? Yuyuko-sama?"

Suddenly, Yuyuko shrieked.

Youmu was off the couch in a heartbeat, the blanket wrapped around her waist and her _katana _and_ wakizashi _in her hands. She glared fiercely around the room. "What's the matter?"

Her mistress was pointing a shaking finger at the coffee table. It was empty.

"My- my new pantsu. They're _gone_!"

~o~

In the courtyard of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, head-maid Sakuya had just finished dividing up the fairy maids into different battalions.

"Squad A," she shouted, indicating the nervous maids standing just in front of her. "I want you to guard the East Wing. Squad B, the West. Squad C, your job is to guard the front gate."

Beside her, Meiling frowned. "But that's my job!"

"And you do an excellent job of it, when you're awake," said Sakuya. She turned back and waved a hand at the battalions of maids. "I myself will guard the clotheslines. Now go! Be constantly on your guard. There must be no repeat of the shameful events of yesterday."

"Who do you think took them?" whispered Meiling as the fairies marched off.

"There are many who would desire to get a hold of ojou-sama's intimate apparel," said Sakuya, and she blushed deeply. "But I have my suspicions. The thief has proven to be too fast, however, and too sneaky even for my abilities." She looked at her pocket watch. "Well, we'd better go to our po-"

A blood-curdling shriek suddenly echoed from the mansion itself.

"Ojou-sama!"

Sakuya stopped time with a wave of her hand and was running across the courtyard an instant later. She slammed open the front door, raced up the staircase three steps at a time and kicked open the door to Remilia's bedroom, a handful of blades at the ready.

The little vampire princess was alone, standing on her bed, looking down in frozen horror. Sakuya started time again. Remilia straight away began to move, hopping up and down in a mixture of rage and distress.

"Ojou-sama? What's happened?"

The youkai stopped jumping and glared at her. "They're gone, Sakuya! Vanished. The thief has struck again."

"Gone?" Sakuya blinked. "But ojou-sama, I was just at the clotheslines and-"

"No, you idiot! I'm not talking about those!" Her eyes flashed red. "I'm talking about _these_!"

She lifted up the hem of her skirt until it was well above her bellybutton. The expanse of pale, smooth skin showed it was true. Remilia's pantsu were gone.

Sakuya clapped a hand to her nose as blood spurted out of her nostrils.

"I- I'm sorry, ojou-sama. I have failed you." She slumped to her knees.

Remilia hopped off the bed. She lifted Sakuya's chin and stared at her, her red eyes flashing, her lips opening to reveal her pointed canines. "You of course know the penalty for failure, head maid. But luckily for you, Patchy predicted that this would happen sooner or later. She left wards all over the windows and doors. They have been triggered by the thief, and so we will soon know their identity."

Down in the library, Koakuma waved a hand in the air and pulled out a photo.

"It's developing, mistress."

"Good," said Patchouli, lying back in her armchair and not looking up from the book open in her lap. "In a way, it will be a shame to solve this mystery. It has saved me a lot of bother having to orchestrate an incident of my own to keep Remi amused."

Koakuma wafted the photo in the air again. "It's getting clearer."

"Who is it?"

"I can't quite... it's hard to make out. It's mostly just a blur. I... I think I can see the edges of a wide-brimmed black hat with what may or may not be a white..."

"Oh, _really_ now!" came a voice from above them. Hanging upside down from the rafters was Flandre, and with a flap of her sparkling skeletal wings she flew down and hovered beside them, her childlike face fierce. "Let's put an end to this charade. Everyone knows that kleptomaniac witch Kirisame is behind it. She must be utterly - uh, brought to justice."

The little vampire raised a hand and a flurry of blinding danmaku burst forth, smashing out one of the stained-glass windows. She flew through the shower of molten glass and disappeared.

Koakuma looked at Patchouli.

With a sigh, the magician closed her book and stood up. "I guess we should follow her. It will be shame to miss out on the fun."

~o~

Ran burst into the living room where Yukari was lying on the floor watching TV. "Yukari-sama, did you hear? The pantsu thief's crimes are escalating. They stole a pair right off Remilia while she was asleep. Everyone is saying that Just an Ordinary Witch Kirisame Marisa is the culprit."

"They're probably right," said Yukari with a yawn. "That black-and-white is pretty gutsy."

"The youkai she's stolen from are forming an angry mob on the outskirts of the Forest of Magic. Maybe we should-"

"Oh, who cares." Yukari rolled over and scratched herself. "Shoten is on and I've already got comfortable. Anyway, I'm sick of having to always-"

Just then Chen came bounding into the room. "Yukari-sama! Yukari-sama!"

"What is it Chen?" Her eyes remained glued to the television.

"What do you think of my new hat?"

Yukari eased herself up on an elbow and blinked at her. The little nekomata was wearing a pair of pink pantsu on her head, her fluffy ears poking out of the leg holes. Ran brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter.

Yukari shook her head. "Chen, what have I told you about messing around in my private drawer?"

"But I didn't, Yukari-sama! I found them on the floor in the corridor!"

Yukari leaped to her feet and bolted into her bedroom. The dresser had been pulled open, and all of her pantsu, except for that last pair, were gone.

"Kirisame!" she shouted, shaking her fist at the ceiling.

There was a sudden cry from the living room. She raced back and found Ran on her knees consoling a crying Chen.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"The black and white witch!" blubbered the nekomata. "She burst in through the window and stole my new hat!"

The spot above Yukari's right eye began to twitch.

"Ran, look after Chen for a short while," she said quietly.

"Where are you going?"

"I've got an angry mob to join."

~o~

Alice was red in the face and puffing as she flew into the grounds of the Hakurei shrine with Hourai and Shanghai in tow, trying to keep up with her.

"Reimu, Reimu!"

Reimu came out of the shrine. "What is it, Alice? I'm a bit busy at the moment. There's a lot of sweeping that needs to-"

"It's Marisa," she panted. "She's in trouble!"

Reimu rolled her eyes. "What's she done now?"

"No time for explanations! Just follow me!" The magician flew up into the air, her dolls following close behind.

Reimu sighed and flew after her. "There's _never_ any time for explanations."

They flew low over the landscape of Gensoukyou and were soon at the outskirts of the Forest of Magic.

Alice looked about in a panic. "They were here just a second ago! Oh no, they must have already-"

She dived down near the tops of the trees and Reimu flew alongside her.

"Who was here?" asked the miko. "What the hell's going on?"

"It's the other youkai," said Alice. "They found out Marisa is the one who's been stealing pantsu and they're blaming her for orchestrating the whole incident."

They heard the crowd before they saw it. There were angry shouts and mutterings coming from the direction of Marisa's house. Reimu and Alice had to land on the little track that led to the clearing where the house was, since there were too many youkai in the clearing itself.

Reimu ran up to Yuyuko and Youmu "Who's in charge here?" she demanded.

Yuyuko looked up from alternately taking bites of roast-eel-on-a-stick and flipping through her spell cards. "Oh, Reimu. Well, no one is in charge, exactly. This is more of an impromptu angry mob, as I understand it. Remilia and Flandre are the ones at the front making the loudest threats, though."

Reimu began to push through the crowd with Alice.

Far ahead of them through the crowd, Remilia, with Flandre at her side, was knocking violently on Marisa's door.

It opened a crack, revealing two golden eyes from behind the still-fastened chain that locked it.

"What do you guys want?" demanded Marisa.

"We know you're the pantsu thief, Kirisame," said Remilia with a sneer. "Give them back and no one gets hurt!"

"I only like bloomers," said Marisa. "No pantsu in here!" She slammed the door shut, and the reverberations popped open a window which disgorged a tidal wave of pantsu at the vampires' feet.

Remilia bent down and picked up a pair. They were decorated with blue horizontal stripes.

Her eyebrow began to twitch.

"Shall we burn down the house?" asked Flandre, taking out a packet of matches. She lit one and turned it over in her fingers, until it burnt her and she dropped it with a yelp.

"No," said Remilia. "The others here have a legitimate grudge with her as well. Let's just drag her out."

With a stream of danmaku, Remilia and Flandre broke down the front of the door. They burst inside, and immediately there came the sound of shouting, furniture breaking and more danmaku being fired. Pantsu of every kind flew out the windows, the front door, and whenever a hole was blasted out through the walls.

Soon they were dragging Marisa out. The two vampires were frazzled and burnt, but largely unharmed.

As Flandre held the struggling Marisa's arms behind her back, Remilia loomed over her. She lowered a taloned hand and took hold of the hem of Marisa's skirts.

"Now let's see how you like being stripped of your underwear." She turned to the other youkai. "I assume everyone brought their spell cards?"

Everyone nodded. Spellcards were retrieved from pockets and cleavage and handbags and everywhere else that cute youkai girls keep them safe.

"What are you going to do to me?" gasped the witch.

Remilia grinned. "Maybe an old-fashioned bare-butt danmaku spanking will teach you not to mess with other's undergarments!"

She was just beginning to lift the hem of Marisa's skirt when Reimu burst out of the crowd, sending Mystia and Wriggle flying.

"Wait!" shouted the miko. "Wait!"

Remilia dropped her hand in shock.

Reimu turned and stood before the angry mob, her arms raised. "Marisa isn't the culprit. It's me."

In the front row Yukari suddenly blushed crimson. "_You're_ the one who stole my pantsu? Oh my!" She fainted back into Ran's arms.

"No, no, no," explained Reimu. "Marisa stole them. It's just that I-" She lowered her eyes in embarrassment. "_I'm_ the one who started this whole pantsu thing."

"Whaaat?" cried Marisa.

"She's just lying to save her friend," said Remilia. "Get the witch!"

But no one moved. All eyes were glued on Reimu, who had begun lifting up the hem of her robe, blushing hotly. As she brought it up past her waist, a pair of sheer black pantsu decorated with intricate lace and a little red bow were revealed.

Yukari had just recovered and was being fanned by Ran when her eyes fell on Reimu. The youkai gasped, raised a hand to her forehead and fainted dead away a second time.

The others stared at the miko, stunned.

On the ground, Marisa too was staring, her mouth open. "_You're_ the one responsible for the Mysterious Phantom Pantsu Incident?"

Reimu, still blushing, let the hem of her robe drop. "What, it has a name _already_?"

Yukari was conscious again. "But, Reimu. _You_? Wearing things like... _that_?"

The miko frowned at her. "Didn't you want me to earlier?"

"Well, I did," Yukari admitted. "But I was just teasing. I thought you'd be the last person to wear such things."

Reimu's frown became a scowl. "Why? Didn't you say wearing pantsu is all about feeling sexy? Isn't a shrine maiden allowed to feel sexy now and again?"

The word 'sexy' was like a punch in the face for Yukari, and after the second she fell back down into a faint a third and final time. This time Ran wasn't fast enough to catch her and she fell back onto the grass with her stockinged legs in the air.

"So anyway," said Reimu, turning to the other youkai. "Please don't blame Marisa. She was only trying to discover my secret. The incident was indeed all my fault. So take your anger out on me. She will return everyone's pantsu after she has washed them-" Reimu glanced at Marisa. "You haven't been... uh, wearing them have you?"

Marisa turned up her nose. "Like I already said - I was born a bloomers girl, and I'll die one."

There was scattered muttering amongst the youkai, but they slowly began to disperse. Remilia pulled a disappointed Flandre away from Marisa and led her past Reimu.

The vampire smiled at the miko sardonically. "You're just lucky you look so adorable when you're humiliated, Reimu. We'll let your friend go - this time." She lifted a taloned hand to Reimu's cheek and stroked it. "But I must say you have excellent taste in underwear. Feel free to drop by to the mansion any time and we'll swap notes."

The mob moved off.

"Hey," said Marisa, getting to feet and rubbing at where the vampires had bound her arms. "I guess I owe you one, huh?"

"No, I was the one in the wrong this time," said Reimu with a sigh. "It was my own arrogance which led to this out of control situation. Of course, Aya's peeping didn't help, but I think she's gone through enough. I scared her pretty bad."

"So _you're_ the one who shook the crow down for her photos and negatives."

"I'm not proud of it," said Reimu. "Now let's all just try to forget about it and get on with our lives. Although you do still have all these pantsu to wash."

Marisa' surveyed the destruction and her eyes went wide. "That's like... I dunno, fifteen dozen cauldron's full!" She sighed. "Well, I guess I'd better get started. Hey, maybe you can lend me a ha-"

But Reimu was already gone.

~o~

"What a day," muttered Reimu as she stumbled into the shrine. "I'm so tired I can't even be bothered showering. Guess I'll just sleep as I am."

She loosened her robes, slumped down on the futon and was almost immediately asleep.

A short while later, one of the windows to the shrine slid opened with a soft scraping sound. A black-sleeved hand slid in, pushing the window open further.

Marisa brought her face to the window and looked in. Reimu was asleep on her back, her robe open below the waist.

_Good,_ thought Marisa._ She's still wearing them._

She slipped in through the window and floated softly to the floor. After padding across the tatami-matted floor she knelt beside the miko and reached down.

_Now, this is going to take all my skill to pull off. Literally._

Reimu muttered in her sleep and turned her head over on the pillow. Her robe above her waist slipped open.

Marisa's eyes were drawn up along the expanse of flat white stomach that was revealed, and above it-

_Wait. That's not her sarashi. Just what is _that_?_

Covering the miko's chest was an item of underwear that Marisa had never seen before. The two cups squeezed Reimu's modest breasts together and made her cleavage look far deeper than it was. Like her pantsu, the garment was sheer, black and lacy and decorated with a red bow.

A matching set!

The witch's eyes glazed over. She lifted her hands from Reimu's waist and brought them up to this newly discovered treasure.

_Whatever they are, I must have them! But how will I..._

Reimu muttered again, and turned over on her side, cuddling the pillow. Her robe slipped further off her back, revealing her neck and the top of her shoulders. With trembling fingers, Marisa gingerly slid the robe down further and reached inside.

The band at the back of the garment was attached by some kind of fastener. She tried to open it.

For some reason it was a lot harder than it looked.

_Oh come on! I can pick the lock to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, but I can't manage to undo this one, little-_

Suddenly, Reimu turned around and grabbed her hands. She was wide awake.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

Marisa struggled to free herself, but Reimu's grip was too strong. "Uh, nothing. I was just... well, you looked hot, so I thought I'd undress you to make you a bit cooler."

Reimu stared at her.

Marisa sighed. "Okay, I admit it. I have a problem. A _serious_ problem. I promise to go and get some professional help. But first, I have to know. Just what is _that_?"

"It's called a brassiere," said Reimu. She let Marisa's hands drop but made no attempt to cover herself. Her voice fell to a whisper. "What do you think?"

"That latch is impossible to undo," said Marisa. "Do you think they designed it that way on purp-"

"No, you idiot," muttered Reimu, blushing. "I'm asking you if you think it's... sexy."

She suddenly grabbed Marisa's hands again and brought them against her breasts.

Marisa gaped in shock - but then she grinned. "Oh. _Ooooh_!"

Reimu lowered her eyes. "You know, you were taking so long to get to the bottom of the incident, and after all the trouble I went to..."

"Wait. So this was all just a convoluted come-on?"

Reimu nodded.

"Couldn't you have just - well, I dunno - got drunk and started pawing me or something?"

Reimu glared at her. "Do I look like Kochiya Sanae to you?"

Marisa grinned. "Well, since you put it that way..."

"Soooo." Reimu looked up at the witch shyly. "Do you want to, you _know_...?"

Marisa's eyes gleamed. "What do you think?"

Grabbing Reimu around the waist, she brought hungry lips against the other girl's pale neck and began to kiss and bite it.

"Oh Marisa!" breathed the miko, melting away in her arms.

They were so involved in their passionate embrace that they almost didn't hear the gentle 'click' that came from the window.

"Did you hear something?" whispered Marisa.

"Just a peeping crow," said Reimu. She sighed and slid out of Marisa's arms. "I guess we should go fight it out with her. I don't know if I can deal with another incident so soon after the last one."

"Oh let her have her fun," said Marisa. She reached around Reimu's back and started fumbling at the latch of the bra again. "But if I'm going to have to take off more of these things, I'll need a lot more practice!"

Reimu gasped and, grabbing up her pillow, she started to beat the witch around the head with it until they both fell giggling into each other's arms.

_The End_


End file.
